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KP rides Grundy 256 → 54 → 322 over three weeks of Grundy-C, three losses. Claire breaks the 0-3 Daicos curse with Daicos 204 (C) — lowercase rises. L. Jackson C goes 3 from 3 for Zwerve, returns drop to 140. B. Smith 314 (C) again for Tom. Mitch wastes Gawn 168 (C) for the third week and crashes to 2-8.
The MitchWhite training paddock has now reached the stage of structural collapse. Eight straight losses. Six DNPs — Jaques, Clohesy, Owens, Gunston, Stanley, Treloar — like a roll-call at a ghost town. M. Gawn turned up with 168 from the C (raw 84) for the THIRD week running, joining last week's 212 and the week before's 212 in the great wasted-Gawn archive. Z. Merrett 96 (V) was solid. K. Amon 105 actually played defence like he wanted to be there. After that: J. Short 88, S. Grlj 78 (emergency in), B. Humphrey 54 (emergency in), S. Sidebottom 65 (emergency in). Three emergency call-ups in one round. The autoemergencies are now Mitch's actual midfield. Final: 1020. Lowest score of his season. Last on the ladder, last on percentage (87.7%), and the gap to 11th (Maddiekarp) is now real. Gawn deserves a tribute and a transfer request. The other thirteen deserve a stern email and a follow-up.
Round 10 of The Shiva Bowl was a study in captaincy: three coaches kept the same C for the third week running, and the universe handed each of them a completely different outcome. Tom kept printing. KP kept losing. Claire finally won. The lowercase rises.
TOP OF THE TABLE. Tom is Team beat Maddiekarp 1357-1172 to move to 8-2, solo first by a full game. B. Smith 314 from the C — raw 157, doubled, the captaincy printing press back in business after a one-week Sinclair detour — did most of the damage, with J. Sinclair 115, R. Sanders 102, J. Lloyd 44 in as emergency for S. Pendlebury (DNP), K. Farrell 83, J. Bowey 92 and W. Setterfield 86. Maddie posted a respectable 1172 with J. Noble 126, M. Hall 114, D. Wilmot 110, K. Pickett 146 (C, raw 73) — but ran into a freight train. Tom is now alone in first and tracking like a top-two lock.
GRUNDY 322 (C). AND KP STILL LOST BY 156. Lachie Neale's Divorce Lawyer captained B. Grundy for the THIRD week running. The progression is now legend: 256, then 54, then 322 — raw 161 doubled, a season-high captain return — and Anna's Angels15 STILL won 1402-1246. KP has now scored 1246 with a 322 captain and lost. Anna had L. Ash 200 from the C (raw 100), D. Moore 120, B. Uwland 115, H. Garcia 112, J. McInerney 110, I. Rankine 102, A. Brayshaw 90 — seven scores over 90, a balanced demolition. Lachie's D. Parish 99, S. Bolton 93 (emergency in for S. Lalor DNP), M. D'Ambrosio 87, M. Windhager 84 and C. Warner 80 weren't enough to bridge the rest of the gap. KP is now 5-5, sixth. The captain compliment refuses to leave him alone.
DIAMOND 7-3, SECOND. The Diamond Zwerves beat Stabby Chatfields 1201-1124. Zwerve, in keeping with this week's theme, captained L. Jackson for the THIRD week straight — and got 140 (raw 70). After two consecutive 256s, regression arrived. Didn't matter. N. Anderson 118, J. Peatling 107, A. Roberts 101 (V), B. Dale 95, L. Parker 95 — Diamond's depth carried it home. Stabby's O. Florent 127, I. Heeney 98, J. Cameron 86 and T. Xerri 138 (C, raw 69) couldn't keep up. Stabby drops to 6-4, fourth — two straight losses, the tumble continues from solo-first to fourth in three rounds. Marc would like to file a complaint.
WOMINJEKA WARRIROS edged Cotton On Contributions 1204-1181 — closest game of the round, 23-point margin, six in a row for Al. L. Whitfield 118, C. Oliver 116, T. Kelly 101, C. Serong 88, J. Sicily 87, J. Worrell 86, J. De Goey 86, J. Richards 84 (emergency in for S. Darcy DNP). No single player went huge — Al just had everyone over 75. Cotton's C. Wilkie 216 (C, raw 108), S. Flanders 109, J. Ross 101 and H. Sheezel 93 added up to a perfectly fine 1181 that lost by 23. Cotton is now 4-6, ninth on the ladder, and STILL leads the league in points-for (12,796). The Cotton Curse is now a documented meteorological phenomenon.
CATSLEE 1258-1064 OVER CHARLIE. Spongi finally got the big one. J. Dawson 212 from the C (raw 106) led the charge, with Z. Butters 122, H. Thomas 102, T. Stewart 95, C. Petracca 89, J. Battle 87, R. Marshall 87, J. Burgoyne 81. Catslee with no DNPs in the starting lineup and balanced contributions throughout. Charlie's P. Cripps 222 from the C (raw 111) OUTSCORED the opposing captain and Charlie still lost by 194. Outside Cripps it was M. Holmes 91, J. Smith 91, S. Berry 87 — a thin spread that 1064 looks like. Charlie 6-4, fifth. Two straight losses for the early-season pacesetter.
DAICOS. FINALLY. DELIVERS. claire beat MitchWhite 1208-1020. The headline isn't the score — it's that N. Daicos was claire's captain for the FOURTH week running, and after a previous three-week sequence of 270, 248, 95 — all losses — he posted 204 (raw 102) and claire WON. Three weeks of 0-3 with Daicos as C, then 204 (C) and a W. The lowercase rises. claire also had N. Blakey 146 (a defender posting 40+ disposals), L. Ashcroft 104, T. Sparrow 103, T. Atkins 90, J. Waterman 75. claire moves to 3-7, above Maddie and Mitch. The Daicos captaincy is officially vindicated.
LADDER STATE: Tom solo 1st (8-2). Diamond and Wominjeka tied 7-3 on percentage (Diamond second). Stabby and Charlie 6-4 in the chasing pack, separated by percentage. Lachie/Catslee/Anna all 5-5, sorted by percentage — Lachie sixth, Catslee seventh, Anna eighth. Cotton 4-6, ninth, still top of the league for points-for. Claire snuck up to 10th on three wins. Maddie 11th and Mitch dead last, both 2-8.
All coaches were made available for questions. Most of them should not have been.
Q: Tom. 8-2. Solo first by a full game. B. Smith 314 from the C — back to back from last week's 254.
“B. Smith 314 from the C — raw 157, doubled. Last week 254. The captaincy printing press is going through reams. I'm 8-2, solo first, and the rest of the league is starting to glance over its shoulder. I will not name the vanilla slices. The vanilla slices know what they did.”
Q: Maddie went 1172 with Noble 126, Hall 114, Wilmot 110. Were you worried at any point?
“I was projected to lose. The model said 1265 to 1206 her way. I scored 1357 and won by 185. The model is now banned from my house. Bailey Smith is invited to my house. Maddie played well — better than the scoreline suggests, she ran into a Smith.”
Q: KP. You captained B. Grundy for the THIRD week running. Three-week sequence: 256, 54, 322. Two losses. Today's loss by 156.
“B. Grundy 322 from the C. Raw 161. A season-high. I scored 1246. I LOST. Anna scored 1402. There is no captain choice on this Earth that can produce 322 from Grundy and still result in a loss, and yet here we are. I am being studied by sports scientists.”
Q: So is Grundy still your captain next week?
“Grundy is my captain forever. The man delivers. The universe doesn't. 5-5, sixth — but I'm scoring like a top-four side. The math will turn.”
Q: Claire. Four weeks running with N. Daicos as C: 270, 248, 95, and now 204. First three were losses. Today: WIN.
“The lowercase rises. I told you. I told all of you. Daicos was always my captain. I kept the faith through 270, 248 and 95 — losses, every one — and the universe rewarded me with 204 (C) and a W. claire is 3-7. We are coming for ninth. Mitch and Maddie can no longer look down on me, only sideways and slightly up.”
Q: Blakey 146 from defence — was that a roster pick or did you just have him in the back pocket?
“I have a quiet eye for defenders. I would prefer not to elaborate. Daicos delivered. The lowercase is permanent. Next.”
Q: Zwerve. Third week running you captained L. Jackson. Got 140 this week — raw 70. The 256-256-140 trajectory is what statisticians call 'regression.' Still 7-3.
“L. Jackson is still my captain. I will not be moved by one quiet game. Last two weeks he gave me 256 each. This week he had a kip and gave me 140. The Diamond Zwerves don't depend on captain heroics, we depend on N. Anderson 118 and J. Peatling 107 and the bench coming up with the goods. 7-3, second on the ladder. The freight train is on rails.”
Q: Marc. Two straight losses. From solo-first to fourth in three rounds. T. Xerri 138 (C, raw 69) — quiet captain return.
“We have had a downturn. I will not characterise it as a tumble, a tailspin, or a freefall, despite the cumulative evidence. Two losses. 6-4. Fourth on the ladder. We will be back. The Chatfields have rebuilt before and we will rebuild again.”
Q: Anna. 1402 over KP. L. Ash 200 (C). Ash has been your C for weeks now.
“L. Ash is my permanent C until someone confiscates the armband. Seven scores over 90 — Moore 120, Uwland 115, Garcia 112, McInerney 110, Rankine 102, Brayshaw 90. No weak link. The Angels are 5-5 and the second half of the season is mine. I would also like to publicly thank KP for choosing to keep losing with Grundy as captain. It made my week considerably easier.”
Q: Spongi. 1258-1064 over Charlie. Dawson 212 (C) — and you OUTSCORED Cripps 222 (C) on the other side. How?
“Cripps got 222. Dawson got 212. I lost the captain battle by 10. I won the matchup by 194. That is the whole story. Butters 122, Thomas 102, Stewart 95, Petracca 89, Battle 87, Marshall 87, Burgoyne 81 — Catslee scored from everywhere, no DNPs, no holes. 5-5, climbing. The middle of the table belongs to the team that wins on the margins.”
Q: Charlie. Cripps 222 (C) and you scored 1064. Two straight losses. Down to fifth.
“Cripps did his job. Berry 87, Smith 91, Holmes 91 — fine. The rest of my squad collectively decided this was a recovery week. 1064 is the kind of score that needs a 350-point captain to rescue, and 222 wasn't enough. 6-4, fifth. The tumble began at the same time Stabby's did, which is interesting.”
Q: Al. Six in a row. Closest game of the round — 23 points over Cotton. 7-3.
“Whitfield 118, Oliver 116, Kelly 101, Richards 84 emergency-in for Darcy. Nobody went huge — everyone over 75 except McCluggage 52. I won by 23. I'll take a 23-point win every week. Six in a row, 7-3, third on the ladder. The Warriros do not stop. Cotton scored 1181 — fine — and I scored 1204. That is the assignment.”
Q: Jackson. C. Wilkie 216 (C). Sheezel 93 (V). Flanders 109. Lost by 23. Cotton is now 4-6 and STILL leads the league in points-for.
“I have now lost six matches while scoring more points than anyone else in the league. This is no longer a curse. It is a personality trait of my team. I scored 1181. Al scored 1204. There is no story here except statistics and pain. We will be back. Probably also scoring well and losing.”
Q: Mitch. 2-8. Eight straight losses. Gawn 168 (C) wasted for the third week running. Six DNPs.
“M. Gawn keeps turning up. He scored 168 from the C this week, 212 each of the two before. The man is doing his job. The other thirteen players are, I am being polite about this, in a recovery phase. Six DNPs again — Jaques, Clohesy, Owens, Gunston, Stanley, Treloar. I have used the auto-emergency button so many times the website now suggests it before I open the page. 2-8. Last on percentage. I will be back. I am not sure when.”
Q: Maddie. The two-game streak is over. Lost to Tom 1357-1172. Noble 126, Hall 114, Wilmot 110. Pickett 146 (C, raw 73).
“I ran into a Bailey Smith 314 and a Tom on a heater. I scored 1172 — that's a top-half score on a normal week. Noble was huge, Hall was huge, Wilmot was huge. Pickett quiet from the C. 2-8, but I'm above Mitch on percentage. The streak resets. We go again.”
| # | Team | W | L | D | PF | PA | % |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Tom is Team | 8 | 2 | 0 | 12018 | 11292 | 106.4 |
| 2 | The Diamond Zwerves | 7 | 3 | 0 | 13110 | 12275 | 106.8 |
| 3 | Wominjeka Warriros | 7 | 3 | 0 | 12342 | 11805 | 104.5 |
| 4 | Stabby Chatfields | 6 | 4 | 0 | 11265 | 10821 | 104.1 |
| 5 | CharlieGuerno | 6 | 4 | 0 | 12299 | 11904 | 103.3 |
| 6 | Lachie Neale's Divorce Lawyer | 5 | 5 | 0 | 12310 | 12161 | 101.2 |
| 7 | Catslee Spinning | 5 | 5 | 0 | 11435 | 11507 | 99.4 |
| 8 | Anna's Angels15 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 12042 | 12492 | 96.4 |
| 9 | Cotton On Contributions | 4 | 6 | 0 | 12796 | 12206 | 104.8 |
| 10 | claire | 3 | 7 | 0 | 10580 | 11379 | 93.0 |
| 11 | Maddiekarp | 2 | 8 | 0 | 11784 | 12629 | 93.3 |
| 12 | 🚨MitchWhite | 2 | 8 | 0 | 10779 | 12289 | 87.7 |